Day 1: Letting Go of Sugar Control

"Mommy, I'm going to have one more Popsicle and that's it....O.K?"  My eight year old son cocks his head at me.

"O.K," I say, clenching my jaw.  Andy doesn't notice.  He happily dashes off to the freezer. It's 8:00 at night.

I'm crazy, this is never going to work.  If Andy has another Popsicle, then Katie will want another.  This is their second Popsicle of the evening.  They've already had two other Popsicles earlier today, plus ice cream while out at the Boardwalk!  Will they ever go to sleep tonight?

Maybe this can work for other people's kids, but not my kids.  They have the genetic heritage of two hopeless sugar addicts, me and their father.  Can our kids, ages 8 and 2,  really learn to self-regulate?  Can I let them consume an unlimited amount of a substance known to cause dental caries, diabetes, heart disease and cancer?  

Despite my fear that sugar is the devil, I want to stop controlling my kids' intake of the sweet stuff.  Just like our national war on drugs is a failure, so is my domestic policing of junk food.  Scarce supply leads to increased demand.  The more I say "no" to candy, the more enticing and valuable it becomes in my kids' eyes and stomachs.

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I ignored the warning signs that food restriction wasn't working for Andy.   My need to control was so powerful that I convinced myself that Andy's frequent tantrums were a result of a food allergy to corn syrup.   Experience has since shown me that corn syrup has little effect on his behavior, but my lack of empathy for his wants and needs has dramatic effects.  I regret that it took me so long to discover this.

Even with growing awareness that letting go leads to peace, I still struggle mightily with control.  I worry, as all parents do, about my kids' health, happiness and future success.  I hold on to the idea that I can control them.  It's an illusion that's strongly reinforced in our culture.

"52 Pick Up" is a year of starting over with my kids.  In 52 weeks, can I let go of the need to control their choices?  Can I let their bodies decide when they've had enough sugar?  Can I let them learn what they want to learn, when and how they want to learn it?  Can I be their partner and advocate in life, instead of their boss?

Today is the first day of the first week of a year of unschooling.

Inspiration for letting go of sugar control comes from Sandra Dodd's page "True Tales of Kids Turning Down Sweets".

More interesting reading here: http://sandradodd.com/eating/sugar